My Ads Would Barely Convert
Or Make NO Sales At All!
I was a complete and utter failure at copywriting.
And, things got so dire, I couldn’t even pay the rent or car note anymore. Then, call it luck, fate, or even “divine intervention” if you want… but I got a call from an internet marketer who had read a bunch of my copywriting articles (I was admittedly one of those hacks who taught copywriting, but didn’t do it successfully myself). And, he offered me a chance to write an ad for a high ticket (and unproven) product where he would pay me 50% of the sales if the letter worked, and nothing if it didn’t.
Long story short:
Since I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to spend weeks and months writing the copy, I decided to do a little “experiment” to write the ad faster than usual.
It was, in many ways, the opposite of what a lot of gurus were teaching.
And, I didn’t really think it’d work.
But, I figured I had nothing to lose (my ads sucked anyway) and tried it. So with only a few days to spare… I quickly created the ad using my experimental method for researching and writing copy fast. The ad was far from perfect. But, (as the client said) it was “good enough” to run, and we mailed it.
The result?
That One Just “Good Enough” Sales Letter
Helped Me Pay Off My Car And Other Debts
In A Matter Of Weeks!
But that’s not all:
The sales we made off that sloppily-written ad were so big, the client and I attracted joint venture partners from the UK, Australia, and other countries who wanted to use that ad to sell our product to their lists, too.
But, I had to wonder:
Was I really on to something with this way of writing ads that let me bypass weeks (and even months) of work, stress, and tediously obsessing over my copy? Or, was this just some kind of “one hit wonder” that only worked for that particular product and list? So I immediately tested this new formula on some other copywriting gigs.
And guess what?
Not only did I knock that copy out in record time, too, but…
These Other Ads
Made Even More Sales!
After that it was like the floodgates opened.
Writing ads became unbelievably fast & easy with sales pouring in.
My method gave me so much free time, colleagues called me a “slacker.”
And, clients started seeking me out to write their ads. (Instead of me seeking them out.) In many cases, they didn’t even want to see my portfolio. They’d either bought something from one of my ads and wanted to hire me because they knew I wrote the copy (like the owner of the company Magnetic Sponsoring did). Or they had seen a demonstration of how I worked (like the world leader in self-defense training at the time Captain Chris Pizzo did). Or they simply saw how I applied this new way of writing copy to other peoples’ ads (like the “founding father” of internet marketing — who even Time Magazine gave props about that to — Ken McCarthy did).
Anyway, my “slacker friendly” method is based on two things:
- “Criminal Profiling” Research
Specifically, doing research based on how certain law enforcement agencies “profile” and get inside the heads and psychology of serial killers, terrorists, and other criminal masterminds. I figured if it works for getting to “know” the bad guys, I could use that same methodology to get inside the heads of my customers, so I would know exactly what they’re thinking, what they want to buy, and what to SAY to sell them. Fact is, when you know “what” to say, it doesn’t matter all that much “how” you say it. Quickly-written ads that are just “good enough” (or even downright sloppy) can make you a ton of sales and beat better copywriters (who spend a lot more time writing their copy than you) if you have the right research. And what I did was, I figured out how to get this research fast, and use it to write my ads even faster.
- “Dumbed-Down” Simplicity
What I mean by that is this:
I decided to throw out all the complicated 50+ point copywriting checklists, formulas, and templates all the gurus were pushing. I had no doubt those things worked for them. But all that “noise” just made things more overwhelming for me, and made the whole copywriting process take way too long. So instead, I “reverse engineered” exactly how a few of the world’s top copywriters structure their ads (that none of them seem to teach, for some reason) and broke it down into 5 easy steps even a frustrated and overwhelmed newbie like me could follow.
The result?
A ridiculously simple way to write copy fast — that also makes lots of extra sales.
In fact, some people I have shown it to…
Have Accused My Copywriting Method
Of Being “Too Simple!”
Is that true?
I don’t know, maybe.
What I do know is, my sales letters using this method have collectively (between my clients’ businesses and my own business) since helped – to the extent the copy can play a part – make tens of millions of dollars or more in sales in some of the most competitive niches on the planet (like golf, weight loss, self defense, and biz opp) where I have competed against more talented and harder-working copywriters. Believe it or not, a few world class copywriters are even on record saying I make them jealous (like Ryan Healy, world class copywriter for several major financial publishers like Agora Financial & Lombardi Publishing) and even “pissed off” (like Ray Edwards, who has the biggest book of “Who’s Who” internet marketing guru clients on the web) because I make it look so fast and simple.
Here are a few examples of what I’ve done with this “slacker” copy method:
- Written control ads that have run for almost 10 years straight. It’s extremely rare for controls to last 10 weeks much less 10 years — but I had one in a marketing training niche that ran almost that long, with other (more-talented) copywriters failing to beat it until the client retired the product, including with VSLs (video sales letters), and other gimmicks.
- Created a headline that ran for at least a couple years as a banner ad certain big conservative news sites that cost a fortune to advertise on (like Drudge, NewsMax, etc). Marketers typically have to keep testing brand new headlines on sites like these every few days or weeks to make a profit. Yet, this one headline I wrote using my “slacker” copywriting formula ran for months straight and was only taken down because the client retired.
- A sales letter I wrote for a business in the weight loss niche (I used to partner in) used this method to convert the front-end at 40%! That’s total list size vs sales volume — including to ice cold Facebook traffic in arguably the internet’s most competitive niche.
- Wrote all the sales letters and emails to help make a start-up golf company pull as much as $200k per month in sales banging out ads with this method. (Best part: I knew NOTHING about golf when I wrote these ads. I didn’t need to. My method let me research and write the ads in just a few days without prior experience.)
- Took one prominent direct sales company from nabbing a .8% response to over 1.6% response. That may not seem like a lot, but to that company it meant probably many millions of extra dollars in sales to them and their members, and certainly tens of thousands of dollars in commissions to me.
- I also created a sales letter for a soft launch in another golf company I once had part ownership that the traffic guy on board said in all his years of running hundreds of traffic campaigns (he has worked for some of the most prolific marketers in the home business niche), he’d never seen cold traffic convert the way my copy did.
- Been invited to teach aspects of my copywriting method to some of the world’s most prestigious direct marketing companies. Such as Agora Financial ($400+ million publishing company who already hires the best of the best copywriters on the planet)… AWAI (one of the internet’s oldest and most prestigious copywriting training companies)… Real Dose (one of the world’s biggest and most respected health supplement companies) at their Health Profits Summit… professional radio producers at Entercom (one of the largest radio broadcasting companies in the United States)… various seminars and events where people pay up to $10k just for a seat… and my former annual Oceans 4 Mastermind — where 7-, 8-, and 9-figure businesses paid me and 3 of my colleagues to put their sales copy on a “hot seat” — transforming their ads overnight.
Anyway, here’s what all this means for your business:
For many years, I resisted showing exactly how I did this in detail. The way I see it, there’s more value in keeping secrets than sharing them. And, I simply wasn’t motivated to teach it.
But I recently decided to offer it in a book called:
“Copy Slacker”
No, it won’t make you an “A-list” copywriter.
(Even though I’ve gotten testimonials about my copy from A-list copywriters.)
Or even a so-called “world class” copywriter.
And, while I call it “slacker-friendly”, that doesn’t mean you can be lazy. It still takes hard work and some time. It just doesn’t take nearly as much work and time as other methods I’ve seen. Even so, I believe it can help you jack up your business’ response… cut your writing time by as much as half (or more)… and virtually eliminate all the nagging frustration, stress, and confusion you feel when writing your ads now.
However, a word of warning:
This print book (it’s just a book — no audio, video, or pdf) is very expensive.
And, it does NOT come with a money-back guarantee.
If that gives you acid reflux, then I suggest buying a more “conventional” and/or cheaper copywriting product, book, or course, instead.
(There are certainly plenty to choose from.)
Otherwise, to help you decide, here’s a “sneak preview” of what’s inside:
- A fast and effective way (taught by sex therapists to men with erectile dysfunction) to get over the “blank page hump” and kill writers block dead. (Page 143)
- How to create nearly instant belief about you and your product in your copy if you’re just starting out and nobody knows who you are. (Pages 148-149)
- How to use your competition’s product testimonials to sell YOUR products. (Page 42)
- A memory training technique that can get your prospects daydreaming about the product you’re selling, and sometimes even unable to get it out of their heads! (Page 75)
- An admittedly weird (but super effective) way to sell wildly expensive products with just one or two sentences! (Page 98)
- How to make even the most outrageous and hyped-up claims sound 100% believable. (Page 64)
- The “bragging without bragging” sales letter secret (seen in many old Kung fu movies) that lets you boast about your products, services, or yourself without sounding like an arrogant douche bag. (Pages 89-90)
- An old school door-to-door sales tactic that can make people want to buy products they didn’t even originally want! (Page 48)
- An old-time “adage” that can help you create such an intense urgency to buy in your ads that peoples’ hands may even literally shake trying to type their credit card info into the shopping cart! (Page 13)
- The “house of horrors” method to quickly digging up gold nuggets of valuable market research… and also…
Why You Should
Treat Your Market
Like Evil Criminal Scumbags!
Let’s take a break to “riff” on this a moment.
If you ask 9 out of 10 copywriters what they want to know for making more sales, they’ll ask you about all the best copywriting tricks, tactics, and techniques. But, they are asking the wrong questions. That’s like asking an FBI agent what’s more important — being able to shoot a criminal in the eye from 200 feet away… or knowing how to profile a criminal so they know where that criminal will be, what their next move is, how they think, and the best way to catch them.
I’m not saying to call your customers criminals.
But, if you know how to “profile” your customers like lawmen do… so you know everything about your customers psychologically, emotionally, and even physically…
You Can Make Many Extra Sales
Regardless Of How Good
Your “Writing” Is!
You’ll know exactly what they want.
Exactly what to say to them.
And, exactly how to deliver your message in the most “sales friendly” way.
Anyway, that’s one of the things Copy Slacker shows you: How to “profile” your market like this so you almost know more about them than their own mothers.
Plus, I’ll also show you these other little-known research tips:
How to get Nielsen (the big TV audience research company) to do market research for your sales letters (page 37)… A “tried and true” way of knowing when you’ve done enough market research (also on page 37)… A market research “cheat sheet” (I’ve only previously given to consulting clients who paid me $15,000 a pop) that’ll tell you exactly what words to use in your ads to make your business the maximum amount of sales (starting on page 20)… The “circling the desk” research trick (used by a late copywriter who specialized in writing high ticket products) that lets you do market research twice as fast as it normally takes (page 39)…
But we’re just getting warmed up.
Here are some more of the invaluable tips inside Copy Slacker:
- The sales-destroying mistake copywriters make when using surveys to do research. (The GAP company once made this blunder and it cost them probably tens of millions in sales. See page 18.)
- An infamous dead comedian’s method for getting attention in his comedy acts that can make your sales copy automatically more credible, more believable, more interesting, and less “advertising” sounding. (Page 68)
- The exact number of syllables your words should have (according to one of the best copywriters who ever lived) if you’re selling to a mass market. (Page 28)
- What A-List copywriters (who work for the biggest direct mail and internet publishing companies in the world) talk about with each other about copywriting… but almost never discuss publicly! (Hint: It ain’t anything sexy or “sneaky” like NLP or other persuasion and writing tricks found in most books. Instead, they talk about this one thing even some of the best copywriting courses ignore or just gloss over, at best. Details on page 16.)
- The world’s most-feared negotiator’s secret (he used to broker billion dollar deals) to making sure your sales letters are exciting, sexy, and interesting to read. (Page 17)
- A bizarre (but ridiculously effective) way of using an ordinary dog leash to create ads that can win even against better “written” copy! (Page 43)
- The 1960’s “Mad Man” era secret to writing headlines that can get people eagerly reading every word of your sales letters. (Page 48)
- The naked-man-in-the-woods headline tactic of an 8-figure earning copywriter that can help keep readers glued to your ads — even if they’re being bombarded with texts, ringing phones, Facebook messages, crying babies, and other distractions. (Page 49)
- Facebook’s secret swipe file for writing ads so effective it may very well make people mad at you for interrupting their day because they can’t resist reading your sales pitches! (Page 99)
- 11 copywriting “beginner proof” headline templates (with real-life examples) that are…
Designed For People
Who Struggle With Copywriting
And Are In A Hurry!
Speaking of headlines:
Once upon a time, I wrote a “sleepy” looking headline that nobody (including the client) thought would work. But not only did it win, the client used it as his space advertising all over the internet — including on big news sites (that cost a fortune to advertise on). He simply used the headline verbatim (tweaking maybe a word or two at most), along with an image, and a “click here” call to action.
The result?
That ad ran for several years. And, it made the client a pile of extra sales (and I believe they were already a $30+ million per year business).
Anyway, you can see this headline and know exactly what made it “tick” inside Copy Slacker, where I break it down and show you how to apply the psychology of it to any of your headlines.
Plus, you’ll also learn these headline secrets starting on page 47:
Word-for-word the single best kind of headline to use (proven in over a billion dollars worth of testing)… How to “sexy up” a boring headline with just a few extra words… The best kind of headline to use if you’re not sure what to write… A simple “twist” to add more pop to your headlines used by billion dollar merchandising companies… A secret way known by neurology experts for making your headlines almost impossible to ignore… When you don’t even need a headline in your ads (two of history’s most-mailed letters didn’t have headlines)… A secret (and free) place to see headlines written by the world’s top copywriters you can study, model, and tweak for your business’s sales copy at will… and more.
Here are even more of the copywriting secrets patiently waiting for you inside:
- A sneaky way to use your competitor’s products and services to sell yours! (I once saw a martial arts school do this, and their new member count went through the roof. See page 114.)
- A 6-word “Old Faithful” sales letter opener any business can use, that works for almost any ad you will ever need to write. (Page 64)
- A little-known way that can sometimes drive people almost stark, raving mad at the thought of not being able to buy from your sales copy! (Page 116)
- The most “fail proof” way to write ads ever invented. (Straight from the man who founded Sears — and nope, it has nothing to do with being a good writer. Page 152)
- The “devils backbone” secret to making boring products instantly sound far more interesting. (Pages 40-41)
- A 3-second sales letter design trick for making your ads far easier to read and, thus, buy from. (And don’t worry, no design or software skills necessary — if you can select and bold words with your mouse, you can do this! Details on pages 109-110.)
- How one of America’s top sales trainers “spins” the worst flaws and negative aspects of products and services into red hot reasons to buy! (Page 148)
- How to convince even “fire breathing” skeptics to hear you out and buy from you. (Page 58)
- How studying the great copywriter John Caples can get you in legal hot water. (Disclaimer: I am a huge John Caples fanboy and believe every copywriter should study his work. But, there is something he did in one of his more famous ads that, if you do it today… could get you fined by the government or worse! Read pages 85-86 to see why.)
- A “magic bullet” way to…
Write Stories That Are So Persuasive
They Can Sell Your Business’s Products
Even When You’re Not Pitching Anything!
True story:
The 1986 movie “Top Gun” (about a Naval pilot training at the “Top Gun” fighter pilot school) was, in many ways, one of history’s most profitable “sales letters.”
And there are two reasons why:
First… after the movie hit the screens, Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses (the kind Tom Cruise’s character “Maverick” wore) jumped 30%. And secondly… Air Force and Navy recruitment shot through the roof. Frankly, that movie was so good at “selling” the public on joining the Navy, recruitment booths were set up inside theaters it played in!
Hence, the selling POWER of stories.
After all, there was nothing in the movie telling you to go buy Maverick’s brand of sunglasses or to join The Navy. Yet, the story…
Helped “Sell” Great Hordes Of People
On Buying Both Those Things.
And guess what?
Copy Slacker shows 5 ways to write persuasive stories for your business that have been used to generate (literally) billions of dollars in sales in every imaginable market for every kind of product that’s ever existed. In fact, the story-telling methods I use are so powerful (and simple), I was flown in and paid a big fee to teach about them (and some other topics) to $400+ million per year direct marketing company Agora Financial’s copywriters and editorial team.
Let’s keep moving with some more of the tips inside Copy Slacker:
- How people are neurologically “hard wired” to be persuaded. (This info has been used to generate huge amounts of money by everyone from vicious propaganda machines to worldwide peaceful religions — here’s how to use it to make a ton of sales in your ads. Page 73.)
- A secret place to get free top-notch copywriting critiques. (Many of the world’s highest-selling copywriters go to these same people — and not necessarily other copywriters — for critiques for their own ads. Go to page 132 for the details.)
- The “back-asswards” order in which old school copywriters wrote copy that crawled inside their customer’s psychology and virtually tormented them until they bought! (Page 38)
- When having a lower price can hurt your company’s sales, branding, and even reputation! (Page 25)
- How to “download” a copywriting client’s personality and voice into your ads so it sounds exactly like them in your copy. (If you’re a freelancer, this could almost eliminate re-writes, changes, or annoying time-consuming edits. See Page 42.)
- A Stanford psychologist’s secret method for mentally disturbing your prospects into wanting to buy from your business’s ads. (Page 102)
- How to legally and ethically “borrow” proof and credibility from other people to make your company’s ads more believable and persuasive. (Hint: You can see this “in action” if you read the bestselling book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. Details on page 90.)
- The (blatantly “crude”) method for determining the exact best length a sales letter or advertisement should be. (Page 93)
- How to spin awful, traumatic, and painful things that happen to you into high-pulling sales copy. (Also on page 93.)
- How to (ethically) inflict psychological pain on your prospects in your ads… and make them far more likely to buy from your business. (The great A-list copywriter David Deutsch once did this to sell a dry, boring book about a subject most people couldn’t care less about — just imagine how well it can work with an interesting product. Page 103.)
- The “drug dealer” sales letter opener that works like crazy to get people to read your ads top to bottom. (This works so well you almost have to be careful — otherwise you could get a lot of people buying from your sales letters who aren’t even prospects for what you’re selling! Page 70.)
- 12 ways to write bullet points that “seep” right into your reader’s psychology and…
Makes It Hard For Them To Sleep At Night
Until They Buy From You!
Another true story:
Many years ago, the late, great copywriter Gary Halbert was hired by Entrepreneur Magazine as a consultant. And he wrote an ad for one of their products and said he packed it full of bullets. But, there was one bullet he said created such a flurry of buyers that calls came in for almost a YEAR afterwards to buy the product.
What was the bullet?
- FAKE COCAINE: a legal substitute that fools almost everyone!
The point?
There have been expensive (very expensive) products sold to people who didn’t even know those products existed 5-minutes earlier because of a single bullet buried in an ad that created an itch that just had to be scratched.
And you know what?
I’ve gotten testimonials about my bullets from everyone from one of the internet’s earliest affiliate marketing “pioneers”… to one of the world leaders in the direct marketing/biz opp industry… to the “founding father” of internet marketing… to countless others who’ve confessed my bullets alone forced them to buy from my ads.
And you know what else?
Copy Slacker shows you many of my best bullet tricks, such as:
Where to put your two best bullet points for maximum sales… The “loop effect” bullet point secret that one prominent copywriter once told me put him in a “trance”… How to write bullets that keep people mentally “off balance” and unable to stop reading (even if they want to)… A secret way of using an ordinary home telephone to write bullets dripping with sell… and more.
But that’s still not all.
Here are more tips found inside this book:
- How to open your sales letters so you slip right past your reader’s natural, built-in sales defenses. (Pages 65-66)
- How to use dusty old text books to give yourself instant credibility when selling an unproven product with no track record or testimonials. (Page 87)
- Worst possible place to put a testimonial in your ads where they can actually work against your sales. (Page 119)
- The best emotion to focus on in your ads. (Some people appeal to greed… some to fear… still others to anger, or envy, or lust, or pride. But this emotion blows them all away — and makes your ads far more likely to be read, taken seriously, and bought from. Page 141.)
- The best daily habit business owners new to copywriting should develop to make the most sales as fast as humanly possible. (Doing this got me hired by 3 of my most lucrative clients, and it automatically makes you a more persuasive writer, too. See pages 142-143.)
- The one thing you can do today to make your business’s ads almost instantly more responsive. (The late direct mail guru Dick Benson insisted this is one of the best things you can do to your copy to pump up your response right away. Page 144.)
- The best kind of music to listen to when writing ads. (Pages 147-148)
- How to get people hot to buy from your company’s sales letters without using any actual claims. (Page 151)
- And a whole bunch more, including:
How to use an ordinary copyright notice to instantly banish “writers block” (page 128)… A quick and accurate way to know with near certainty if your copy will be a hit without running a single test (page 131)… The best part of an ad (not the headline) to split test right away (page 144)… One of the best places to address your most vexing objections in sales copy for overcoming skepticism (page 58)… The trick to making your business’s ads pull more sales by telling people NOT to buy (page 116)… and much, much more.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but here is the deal:
Copy Slacker is a thick book (there is no digital, audio, video, or pdf component) that contains a 144-page “crash course” in writing sales copy that can make you far more sales with far less writing time. It’s also designed to be consumed (and implemented) fast, and can be applied to any kind of sales copy you write for your business — including online ads, offline ads, VSLs (video sales letters), and even Kindle descriptions. Plus, it comes with 700+ pages of additional copywriting training, teachings, swipe file ads, and insights that can drive your response and sales up even higher, blow right past other copywriters you compete against, and (if you do freelance copywriting) make you look like a hero to your clients.
Here’s what it costs:
Your investment is a flat U.S. $824.00 — with free shipping worldwide.
Sales Page:_https://www.emailplayers.com/slacker/
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